Most people dislike small talk. There can sometimes be an inhrently false chuminess involved that can make anyone feel like a phony. Those of us who are somewhat introverted especially dread the feeling of emptiness that can accompany a short conversation with someone you don\u2019t really know. For others, it\u2019s an enjoyable experience. But most of us could use a few tips on how to come off to a new acquaintance. Remember, almost every important relationship in your life \u2013 at work or elsewhere \u2013 started with some simple small talk. So here are 9 things to keep in mind the next time you step into a elevator with one other person who you kinda sorta know but not really.<\/p>\n
1.)\u00a0Calm down and think logically\u2013<\/b>In order for small talk to be a possibility, the person you\u2019re going to be talking to pretty much has to largely be a stranger. If that\u2019s the case, then he or she knows very little about you, has no expectations of you, and doesn\u2019t know about whatever you think you have to be anxious about. Small talk is written on a blank slate, and there\u2019s no reason to assume that anyone will think negatively of you. Think of it as an opportunity to present a version of yourself who isn\u2019t worried about how they come off.<\/p>\n
2.)Talk in 20-second bursts\u2013<\/b>Experts say you\u2019ve got a 20-second window each time you open your mouth before you risk boring a stranger or seeming self-involved. There are some cases where you\u2019re on a passionate run and you\u2019ll want to speak for a longer period, but remember that it\u2019s easily to alienate someone by blathering on and on. Remember the \u201csmall\u201d in small talk and keep it brief. You want to make sure you come off as curious about the other person.<\/p>\n
3.)\u00a0If you\u2019re afraid of being dull, then don\u2019t be\u2013<\/b>The clich\u00e9 is to bore the other person by talking about the weather, which doesn\u2019t even make for particularly interesting conversation with immediate family let alone a new acquaintaince. So don\u2019t bore the other person. Talk about something interesting, go fishing for what the other person might want to talk about, or tell a can\u2019t-miss story that\u2019s worked in the past.<\/p>\n
4.)\u00a0Listen\u2013<\/b>When we get nervous during small talk, we tend to prattle on to make sure there aren\u2019t any dead spots. But you run the risk of seeming a self-obssessed bore if you get into a yammering rut. So remember that the rules aren\u2019t any different than if you were talking to an old friend: you listen, you nod, you respond, you don\u2019t look anxiously around the room, and you don\u2019t ever pull out your phone unless it\u2019s an emergency.<\/p>\n
The Most Beneficial Soft Skill for Your Career<\/a><\/p>\n 5.)\u00a0Prepare some talking points\u2013<\/b>If you really don\u2019t know what to talk about, think of a few topics as you drive over. A few new movies or television shows you\u2019ve seen, an interesting news item, a new urban legend, anything that could work for any conversation with anyone you don\u2019t know that well.<\/p>\n 6.)\u00a0Make sure you know the person\u2019s name\u2013<\/b>Make sure the other person knows you caught their name. That means repeat it when you are introduced, and use it once or twice in the conversation. It\u2019s a great way to show you\u2019re listening and that you care to talk to the person in question.<\/p>\n 7.)\u00a0Discuss the occasion or location\u2013<\/b>When and if all else fails, remember you and the person you\u2019re talking to are both there for some reason, so talk about that. Talk about the company or the event or the way the room is designed. Find out if you know any people in common and you might hit on a rich vein of conversation.<\/p>\n 8.)\u00a0Ask for advice\u2013<\/b>An always flattering move. To ask someone you barely know for advice is to show an open-mindedness that is sure to charm and interest anyone. Ask if they know of any good restaurants, or who cuts their hair, or if there\u2019s any new music that they like. They\u2019ll instantly feel like you\u2019re treating them as a real person, which is the heart of the \u201csmall talk\u201d matter.<\/p>\n 9.)\u00a0Establish a \u201crescue signal\u201d\u2013\u00a0<\/b>This only works if you\u2019re not at the function alone, but ask your companion to keep an eye out for a \u201crescue signal\u201d you may be flashing, indicating you need them to come over with an excuse \u2013 ANY excuse \u2013 to get you out the small talk situation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Most people dislike small talk. There can sometimes be an inhrently false chuminess involved that can make anyone feel like a phony. Those of us who are somewhat introverted especially dread the feeling of emptiness that can accompany a short conversation with someone you don\u2019t really know. For others, it\u2019s an enjoyable experience. But most … Read full-story <\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":6961,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8,6],"tags":[11,377],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6960"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6960"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6960\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6964,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6960\/revisions\/6964"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6961"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6960"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6960"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.comparably.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6960"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}