The word “networking” itself is enough to make many of us groan. There’s good reason for that: in many cases, networking conjures up images of name tags and awkward small talk and follow-up emails that lead nowhere.
But that doesn’t have to be your experience. Networking – or connecting, or befriending, or whatever word you want to use – can be a lot more fun. And most importantly, it can lead to lifelong connections and friendships that shape your career.
Here are some tips for networking in 2018.
1. Don’t start with “What do you do?”
It sounds counterintuitive, but you don’t want to start your conversations with “What do you do?” The main reason is that, often, this immediately puts people into a framework of only talking about work. That, in and of itself, can be limiting (and sometimes quite boring). While your goal is obviously to network professionally, you want to look beyond someone’s job to make connections. If you’re a reporter who writes about baseball, you might have no interest in meeting a dancer; but the best connections come from shared values and experiences, and you might find that you have a real and unexpected opportunity from connecting with someone who, on paper, has a totally different career. Start your conversation with something more fun and you’ll be surprised to see how much more real and engaged people will be.
2. Look beyond traditional networking events.
For the same reason that you don’t want to box yourself in to people of a certain career, you want to keep your options open when it comes to the types of events you go to. Anything with a team focus will work here – join a community sport, seek out volunteer opportunities, join a Meetup, or go to a lecture. You’ll find that bonding over common interests will result in more fruitful connections.
3. Ask people how they prefer to connect.
When you meet people, don’t assume that you know anything about how they want to connect (email? Text? LinkedIn? Etc). It may be easy enough to text people, but if you assume that the new person you’re talking to wants to be texted, you could be making a big mistake. The simple advice is to just ask.
Related: How to Decide if It’s Time for a New Job
4. Don’t be a stalker.
You could be super excited about a connection, but treating them like your new best friend could backfire quickly. Be genuine, courteous and enthusiastic about wanting to stay in touch, but don’t send three more follow-up emails and a phone call when someone hasn’t responded to your first two. Try to put yourself in that person’s shoes; you wouldn’t want someone stalking you, would you?
5. Be a giver.
One of the big mistakes people make when networking is seeing the transaction as one-way. Instead of asking someone to go for coffee so you can unload on them about your current job and why you want to do something different, look for ways to nurture some of the interests and goals of the other person. Invite them to an event you think they might enjoy; offer to connect them with someone who could directly help them with their business. Your thoughtfulness will stand out.
Related: See what people like you are getting paid
6. Don’t be frivolous with people’s contact information.
So you met someone amazing and now your friends want to connect with that person, too. Be judicious. If you do want to help, don’t just sent out someone’s contact information; offer to make an email connection. Your best bet is to reach out to this prized connection first and ask if you can make a quick connection; no one likes when their contact information ends up in someone else’s hands without their consent.
