We as human beings have always prized our intellect over all else, mostly because we’re the species that got the gold ribbon for accumulation of smarts. As a result of this, however, old-fashioned emotion began to be treated in human society as a sort of outdated user system that intelligence long ago replaced and rendered useless.
But nature seems to think emotions are very important, as most of the animals in our neck of the circle of life seem to have them hard-wired just like we do. Perhaps humanity isn’t quite done with that old system yet after all. Some years ago, psychologist Daniel Goleman suggested that emotional intelligence (EQ) – that is, the ability to understand and deal with emotions – has five components. Here they are, with an explanation of how they can help you immeasurably in the workplace.
1. Self-Awareness – The first challenge of EQ is you. In order to work smoothly with another group of people, it’s necessary that you get your own emotions in check and under control. Not neglected and not ignored, but managed. If you’re angry because of an argument you had with your spouse last night, that’s no excuse to take it out on one of your work team members. Don’t just know yourself and your triggers, but also understand them.
2. Self-Regulation – Going hand-in-hand with awareness of your emotions is the regulation of them. Emotions can be very powerful and valuable allies, but they also can override logic in the heat of the moment. Especially in a workplace scenario, you want to make sure you don’t allow your emotions to control your actions or words. Rather, you want them to inform them. But wait until you’ve figured your emotional reaction to a situation out before leaping to a conclusion.
3. Motivation – Your motivation for work achievements should not be a potential title change or promotion. Rather, you should be focused on whatever it is that will be the real-world outcome of those achievements. If you wait for external praise and a pat on the back, you’re allowing others to determine your emotional state and you sense of satisfaction at a job well-done. That needs to come from within you, so that your emotional satisfaction isn’t in the hands of someone who may have undeveloped EQ.
Study: Stress in the Workplace
4. Empathy – This is the big one. Come to work and remember that everyone there is just like you in many ways: they want to do a good job, they want to be recognized for their work, they want to be happy, they want to feel valued. If someone else makes a work mistake, before you give them a tongue lashing, remember how you felt the last time you slipped up on the job: did you want someone yellingin your face angrily, or would a supportive correction have been more effective? The recognition of shared humanity is the basis of almost all successful human communication.
5. Communication – Humans communicate things in some very complicated ways. Body language is one example. They’re saying one thing but their body seems to be implying something other. Which are you meant to notice? Leaning how your own emotions work inside you is key to reading how others are processing their emotions. So be kind, be constructive with criticism, and remember that people just want to know they’re seen and valued. We’re all in this together.
